• Carrie Scott

Envy is not Attractive

I read a post a few days ago that made me envious.

A contact talked about the first snow in Baltimore making her feel like a kid again, and I identify wholeheartedly with that!

We don’t have snow in the East of England just now, but we do have mud. And mud doesn’t induce the same childlike feeling as snow.

Now, envy might be fine when it’s a trivial matter of wishing for snow, but it isn’t a marvellous trait. Aristotle described it as pain at the sight of another’s good fortune.

Feeling envious too often can be destructive, leading us to feel hostile, resentful, angry, and a host of other horrid feelings. It can even lead to depression, anxiety, and unhappiness.

How do you avoid feelings of envy taking control?

💚 Examine your thinking and learn to catch yourself doing it. Recognising when you do it and what triggers it will help your quest to conquer it.

💚 When you feel it, remind yourself it’s not a helpful feeling.

💚 Distract yourself. Deliberately turn yourself away from whatever’s causing envy. Think about something pleasant instead.

💚 Put it into context. Would it really make you a better person if you had whatever someone else has? I bet that the answers you give yourself will sometimes make you smile!

💚 Make a point of wishing somebody well when you see their good fortune. It’s amazing how feeling pleasure for someone else can make us feel good too!

The following two might not help envy specifically, but they will help you feel good about yourself. And when you feel good about yourself, you’re less likely to feel envious of others.

💚 What do you have that you’re grateful for or that makes you happy? Make a list if it helps.

💚 Stolen from a great post I saw recently. Take an empty jar and, once a week, write something fabulous that happened that week on a piece of paper. Open at the end of the year and relive those great experiences.

Now, coming back to my moment of envy… when you look at my picture, I think you’ll understand that a horse rolling in snow would NOT look the same as the one who rolled in mud. Maybe envy is ok sometimes!

#mentalhealth #envy #mindfulness #mindset

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